Reaching towards a bereaved mother’s point of view of 1 Kings 3.16-28
Austwick School Collective Worship, 18 October 2022
Aim To explore the experience of baby loss and its impact on women affected.
Assembly
Ask: What do you think a mother would say is the most precious thing she has? (Jewellery? Clothes?)
I suggest that a mother would say that the most precious thing she has is her child.
There is a special bond between a mother and their child.
We can see this in the joy that a mother shows when her baby is born - and we also see it when sadly, sometimes a baby does not live, or does not live very long - and this is a terrible thing to happen to a mother.
Last week in our country was Baby Loss Awareness Week and in church we prayed for all mothers - and families - who had lost a baby; because it is a sad thing which they will always remember. [2]
Let’s take a moment to think of any mothers - and fathers and families - who have lost children, and to say a prayer for them.
Silence - prayer.
Now - to lighten the mood just a little bit, I’m going to tell you a story from the bible which is about two mothers who had experienced the loss of their baby, and who had a very unusual problem; and a wise king who sorted out their problem - in a very unusual way. It’s a story told with a bit of humour in it but there’s a serious point behind it.
It’s the story of Bertha and Brenda and the baby they both wanted.
Solomon was known as a very wise King. People everywhere spoke about his wisdom in making the right decisions. When people came to him with their problems King Solomon always seemed to find the right way to solve them and send them away satisfied.
One day two women came into the King’s court. They weren’t friends, in fact they were quarrelling even as they approached the King - very rude.
One of the women - whose name was Bertha - was holding a baby boy in her arms. Very tightly. It was as if she would never let him go. The poor baby’s eyes seemed to be popping as Bertha squeezed him to herself.
The other woman - who was called Brenda - her eyes were fixed on the baby. She couldn’t stop looking at the baby. And Brenda’s eyes were full of tears. She looked like she’d been crying and that she could burst into tears again at any moment.
King Solomon looked at the two women as they stood in front of him but quite a way apart from each other.
“What can I help you with today?” the wise King asked.
Soon it became clear that Bertha and Brenda were quarrelling over the baby boy.
“My Lord, this baby is mine but she says she is the mother,” said Bertha.
“Please, my lord, that’s just not true. This baby is mine but she says she is the mother,” said Brenda.
“How could this be? Please explain,” said the puzzled King.
“In the hospital, three days after I gave birth, this woman also gave birth,” Brenda explained. “But then this woman’s son died in the night. And when she realised that her son had died she took my son from beside my bed while I was asleep. She laid him on her bed, and laid her dead son next to me. When I rose in the morning to nurse my son, I saw that he was dead; but when I looked at him closely in the morning, clearly it was not the son I had borne. He just didn’t look like him at all.”
While Brenda was saying all this Bertha was shaking her head and holding even more tightly to the baby, making his eyes look like they were popping even more.
“What do you have to say about this accusation?” King Solomon asked Bertha.
Bertha protested, not to the King but to Brenda: “No, you liar! This living son is mine, and the dead son is yours.”
Brenda said, “No, you’re the liar! This living son is mine, and the dead son is yours.”
And in this way they kept arguing before the King.
Then King Solomon said, “Quiet! Let’s get to the bottom of this. One of you says, ‘This is my son that is alive, and your son is dead’; while the other says, “Not so! Your son is dead, and my son is the living one.’ There is only one fair way to settle this. You will share the baby. Guard - bring me my sword!”
King Solomon’s guard brought a big shining sword and held it before the king.
The king said to the guard, “Divide this living boy in two; then give half to one of these women, and half to the other.”
Hearing this, Brenda broke down in tears before King Solomon, knelt at his feet and begged him, ‘Please, my lord, give her the living boy; certainly do not kill him!”
But Bertha held out the baby towards the swordsman and turning towards Brenda said to her, “The child shall be neither mine nor yours; let him divide it.”
Then King Solomon responded: ‘This woman who is crying on the floor before me - give her the living boy; do not kill him. It is clear to me that she is his mother.”
And Bertha handed the baby over to Brenda. And Brenda, who had thought she had lost her child, was reunited with him. She stared into his eyes; and the baby looked into her eyes; and his eyes were no longer popping out, but instead seemed to be smiling.
But Bertha, who really had lost a child, left the King’s court alone.
All the people heard of the judgement that King Solomon had made; and they were in awe of him, because they realised that God had given him great wisdom, to make the right choice.
Let’s go over the story again.
When Bertha came into the king’s court holding the baby boy in her arms, Brenda couldn’t stop looking at the baby. And Brenda’s eyes were full of tears and she looked like she could burst into tears again at any moment. Why do you think she was upset?
Explain that Solomon's decision was a shocking one – he called over a soldier and told him these shocking words: cut the baby in half!
Explore with the children how they feel about this. Was Solomon really wise to say this?
(If they haven't heard the story before, engage fully with the horror and shock of what Solomon suggested.)
Move on to the next part of the story. Bertha, who was holding the baby said, 'Fine, go ahead.' But Brenda said, 'No! Give her the baby. I would rather she had the baby and the baby lived than it was killed.'
Then Solomon said, 'You’re the mother' to Brenda who was willing to give the baby away; and then he gave her her baby back.
How did Solomon know Brenda was the real mother?
(She was willing to see the baby raised by the other woman because she truly loved the baby and didn’t want to see it harmed.)
How do you think that Brenda felt, when she got her baby back?
Why do you think that Bertha stole Brenda’s baby?
(She was very sad because she had lost her own baby, maybe jealous.)
How do you think that Bertha felt, leaving the King's court alone?
Reflection / Prayer
Think about the Berthas in our world who are sad because they have lost a baby.
We pray that they might find some comfort and peace and the courage to carry on.
Think about the Brendas in our world who are mothering new born babies.
We pray that they will have all the gifts and courage they need to be good mothers.
Amen
The Lord’s Prayer
Notes
[1] This assembly draws from Manon Ceridwen James, The Wisdom of Solomon: Different ways of knowing. Assemblies.org.uk, SPCK, October 2015 (Vol.17 No.10).
[2] Baby Loss Awareness Week was 9-15 October 2022.
Comments